back to main page

1999 - 2000

drew: speaking of stupid ideas that will burn the house down; thatís a stupid idea that will burn the house down!

alex p. keaton: sheís right. malloryís right. Iím wrong and malloryís right. the world is ending.

norm henderson: okay let me get something straight for you people. I was a good hockey player. I was only a bad hockey player compared to OTHER PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY PLAYERS.

jennifer: whoís ellen reid?
alex: nobody
jennifer: then why is her picture in that book?
alex: because itís a book of people who donít exit, okay!?

mr. low: ...all these people rubbing elbows with celebrities like arnold schwartzeZINGER...and leonardo deCRAPio...

romy: will you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.

young drivers instructor: if you reverse on the highway you have a good chance of being seriously.....killed.

amita: [telling a joke] what do ghosts eat for dessert?
rob: ...pudding?

cat: the sun is so hot I feel like Iím URINATING!

anne: I wrote ROENTGENS and I donít know why.
carolyn: you are SO lucky I didnít just spit water at you!
anne: hey, we have the same pen! ...marker.

carolyn: other than being totally disgusted by the gelatinous goo, I have accomplished nothing.

cameron: I am going to kill EVERYONE here. STARTING with you. and then Iíll stop.

mr. holloway: whereís maja?
garber: she exploded.

maria: [during math class] after this I have society and then math.
carolyn: ...math?
maria: no, not math at all...

carolyn: Iím so upset that there are no little children here. where are the little children??

maria: cameron, look!
cameron: I canít HEAR you, my ASS is wet...

mike: okay, letís start the debate.
mayor winston: de bate? isnít that what they use to catch de fish?

anne: hey les, is this yours?
leslie: .....yes.
anne: is it zeesyís?
leslie:, itís zeesyís.....
anne: ........

anne: ...itís a party and a half...itís a party and then another half of a party on top of that party...itís 1.5 parties!

mr. holloway: ...words that you need to put commas after: meanwhile, so, but, however...
zeesy: ...however, you left your hat in my freezer.

nejla: [drops her pen under carolynís chair. looks at carolyn to pick it up for her]
carolyn: no energy...just leave it a new one.....there are raisins on the floor.....

maria: haha! Iím taking your bag!
carolyn: right. cuz youíre not gonna give it back to me. and weíre not both going to the same place or anything.
maria: .....
carolyn: so basically what youíre doing is CARRYING my bag FOR me...

drew: hey maria, take this so I can hold your goodies.

mike: lets call our band ezra! thereís only one band better than us! ...pearl jam.

maria: I had to tell! alice was throwing up and I was too excited!!

alice: [looking at mariaís resume] your printerís broken! it left off the ends of lines...
maria: well, itís pretty easy to figure out! I blank a friendly individual. what could it be?
cameron: I ATE a friendly individual?

clark: [trying to catch a squirrel loose in the house] get me a hammer!
helen: why?
clark: Iím gonna catch it in the coat.....and WHACK it with the HAMMER!

carolyn: [accidentally kicks maria in the head]
maria: ooowww! my...this thing!

alice: your fives looks like sís.
maria: YOUR fives look like sís!

[playing taboo]
cameron: okay, alexa, if I canít see you, you must be...?
alexa: BLIND!!!

ms. porter: [looking at mariaís drawing] is that a pear or, like, the inside of an anus?

melayna: I write with whatever I pull out of my bag as long as itís not, like, an arm...

carolyn: Iím so excited!!!
maria: you get excited about weasels.

alice: where did everybody go?
anne: oh, in there...other places...

anne: you know how people are always like Ďwhereís carolyn?í ĎI ate herí or Ďwhereís carolyní ĎI.....ate.....her.....í

mrs. lam: going to university is kind of like going to buy a pair of shoes...

cameron: itís a day 2! WHERE ARE YOUR KIDS?!?!?

anne: [eating a gummy bear] oh no...I shouldnít have eaten his head first.
carolyn: maybe, but do you really want to look him in the eye while you eat his legs?

drew: he wants you!!!
carolyn: how do you know?
drew: have you BEEN there when youíre there?!?

stewart: ew! whatís wrong with the coffee?!?
carter: nothing! I brewed it myself! itís hazelnut cream!
stewart: you even turned the coffee gay?
mike: you canít turn coffee gay stewart, itís born that way.

substitute producer for frasier:
-a cat can have kittens in the oven, but that donít make 'em biscuits!
-if the shoe donít fit then THAT AINT YOUR SHOE!

anne: [explaining how an abacus works] this oneís five and this oneís ten.
carolyn: one.
anne: this oneís one and this oneís ten.
carolyn: five.
anne: right.

alice: I HATE valentineís day!
lisa: thatís just cuz no one loves you.

maria: [leaving the bathroom] alright, letís go kill some rabbits!

ken: [talking about different foods he has eaten] snails taste like...snails.

anne: [trying to express that the Ďdonít walkí sign is lit] why arenít we crossing? ...oh, itís, not locked...not...wanting us to go...stop! ...over there!

mr. c: well, Iíll be.
carolyn: youíll be what? what will you be?
mr. c: cornswaggle...

hockey announcer: ...and kaberle with a long pass one in particular...

back to main page